review: the starter wife

chicklit- literature (written [usually] by a female) that follows a female main character; usually chock full of clever humor, heart-wrenching conflicts, wonderfully, to-die-for, developed characters, and true-to-life themes.

one of my pet peeves is unrealistic literature.

i don't mean idyllic, romantic (not to be confused with romance) literature.

i mean twists of plot that would never, i don't care how much money you have, actually happen in real life.

-a main character (i can't even remember her name; hang on let me look), Gracie, and her daughter are in-coincidentally left by the jackass, movie-careered husband. what is left out: anything detailing her true emotions regarding the situation, any details regarding WHY (as her friends indicate) she and her soon-to-be-ex-husband never actually fit together, and any character development allowing the reader to actually feel any connection with the main character. no connection = no concern

-gracie, offered a free house for three whole months in malibu, attempts to move on with her life by stalking the oh-so-irresistable, token (unknown to be) "homeless-in-shining-armor" man who happens to save her from drowning. in return, he subconsciously offers a feeling "down there" that gracie apparently hasn't felt in quite some time. and all it seems to have taken is one kiss--when he, "clint" or sam knight (symbolism hell) storms her front door and cavalierly carries gracie up the stairs to her bedroom to kiss her.

it's love, apparently. gracie describes this feeling to be love. seriously? in a 400 page novel, couldn't love have been more developed than this?

-a carefully planned, yet turned out to be completely realistic, suicide leaves our main character in pain for 3 hours. until she again meets up with sam knight and she finds her loins have been screaming his name since their last meeting.

my tone is cynical and biting. yes, i know. but a novel that is deemed "funny" and "lively and wry" should at least be funny and entertaining. it's not. in fact, i find it silly and a waste of time.

alas, i will, however, finish the novel because of my OCD: i must finish a book once i start it.

who knows? this last hundred pages might win me over.

maybe you will find a follow-up post claiming "screw it all, this book is fabulous! life-changing!"

i wouldn't count on it.